However, on Monday I experienced a miracle.
On Monday Reagan had another seizure. This was worse than last time. It didn't happen because of a fever, it was longer, and she actually experienced two seizures. She was given a ton of meds at Howard County Hospital and had to be intubated. We were flown to Children's in DC because Howard Country wasn't equipped to deal with the seriousness of her condition.
After multiple tests, including catscans, bloodwork, EEG and a spinal taps they still don't know why she had this seizure. In a few weeks we will have an MRI and they will try to find an answer.
But instead of dwelling on this, I am trying to focus on the fact that God gave us a miracle this past week. I have never prayed so hard and for awhile I was truly afraid that Reagan wasn't going to survive. It was like living through a horrible nightmare that you can't wake up from . My baby was lying there having to have a machine breathe for her. All I could pray was, "God, please let her live" over and over and over again...and He did.
The doctors expected that she would have mental or physical issues because of how long the second seizure lasted, but God intervened and other than a little weakness and unsteadiness she is back to her crazy self.
God's people, all over the world were praying for my little girl. While we were flying in the helicopter it was like I could feel God's presence in a very real way. I knew without a doubt that God was holding us in the palm of His hand.
Words can't even describe the thankfulness I feel. I truly feel undeserving, and completely humbled that God in His infinite grace chose to save my little girl.
2 Corinthians 12:9 states, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." I have never felt so weak, so helpless, but I found out that God's power is truly enough.
At this point I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if these seizures are going to be a regular occurrence. I just don't know, but I do know that whatever happens God's power will shine through. Yes, I am still having problems recovering from the stress of this week. My eyes are still puffy because of all the crying. I am still terrified that it will happen again. Having faith in God's power doesn't negate the human aspects, but I know that He knows that. He knows that I am still a mom and going to worry and cry. He knows that I am going to have my moments that I break down. But He also knows that underneath all the emotions that I trust Him. He knows that I believe that He holds both of my children in His hands.
My little girl home and happy!
Amen and amen!
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