I have been doing alot of thinking about the idea of doing things with a purpose. As I was doing my Bible Study this morning the Lord really enforced that idea. The Scripture was I Corinthians 9:24-27
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
It came in the study I am doing on becoming the Proverbs 31 woman. I like this study, because even though I might not agree with everything the author states, it makes me think about areas in my life that I previously haven't spent time thinking about, and it makes me come to my own conclusions on the matter.
This morning the verses were used to point out the importance of increasing your physical strength, but for me, at this time in my life, it ment more than that.
Everything in my life, from the way I dress, to how I spend my time should have a purpose. I am not talking about a deep philosophical meaning for every action, but more practical. For example, I need to make sure that when I go shopping I actually need something and not just going to waste time, to get out of the house. There are many other ways to spend that time, if I need to get out of the house I have friends I can call, or I could take a walk with the kids. All of those choices are better, both for my state of mind and our finances!
The thing that I have discovered this month is that when it comes to being a better wife, I need to be a better person. This month has made me work on some things that I wouldn't have necessarily have worked on on my own. But between the study I am doing and some conversations with my husband I have made some changes for the better, and honestly I am ending February happier than I began it!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Week Two: "She brings good...not harm"
Week two included Valentines Day. Now those of you who know me know that I really don't care for the holiday. But this year with Cameron being the age he is, he really loves celebrations of any sort, so we really did it up for Valentines Day this year, including a heart themed breakfast and lunch. I was impressed by my husband because he even brought me flowers and picked up a special dinner, just for the two of us.
However, during the course of the dinner we ended up having a very "unromantic" conversation. Not exactly the picture perfect Valentine's day, but it was a conversation that we needed to have. It cleared the air in alot of aspects, and since then things have been wonderful between the two of us. Sometimes we all need to hear the hard things. And while I didn't want to hear some of the things that he said to me, he did say them in love, and that really makes a difference. It took me about 24 hours to put my guard and really look at what issues he brought up and work through them. I am so thankful for a husband who is willing to tell me the things I need to hear.
My memory verse for this week's Bible study talked about bringing our husbands good and not harm. I thought that would be an easy one for me. I mean really, what harm could I possibly cause my husband? As I meditated on it I started to think, no I don't cause him physical harm, but what kind of harm could I cause him with my words? My husband is a dreamer, and while I do love that about him, I am more of a day to day concrete thinker. I tend to be practical in my dreams, while he doesn't let anything stand in the way of his dreams. So when he shares them with me, I need to be careful not to discourage him, not to give him the practical side, but let him dream. My focus this week has been to watch the words that I say, that they are always encouraging, building him up.
On a side note, we made up for Valentine's Day yesterday. While the kids were gone with their grandmother we went shopping for clothes for me! It was a wonderful time. He has really good taste when it comes to clothes and made me try on things that I would have never tried one, but that actually looked really good on me. When I clothes shop I tend to buy things because I need clothes, not taking the time to figure out what really looks good on me.
Overall it was a really good week.
However, during the course of the dinner we ended up having a very "unromantic" conversation. Not exactly the picture perfect Valentine's day, but it was a conversation that we needed to have. It cleared the air in alot of aspects, and since then things have been wonderful between the two of us. Sometimes we all need to hear the hard things. And while I didn't want to hear some of the things that he said to me, he did say them in love, and that really makes a difference. It took me about 24 hours to put my guard and really look at what issues he brought up and work through them. I am so thankful for a husband who is willing to tell me the things I need to hear.
My memory verse for this week's Bible study talked about bringing our husbands good and not harm. I thought that would be an easy one for me. I mean really, what harm could I possibly cause my husband? As I meditated on it I started to think, no I don't cause him physical harm, but what kind of harm could I cause him with my words? My husband is a dreamer, and while I do love that about him, I am more of a day to day concrete thinker. I tend to be practical in my dreams, while he doesn't let anything stand in the way of his dreams. So when he shares them with me, I need to be careful not to discourage him, not to give him the practical side, but let him dream. My focus this week has been to watch the words that I say, that they are always encouraging, building him up.
On a side note, we made up for Valentine's Day yesterday. While the kids were gone with their grandmother we went shopping for clothes for me! It was a wonderful time. He has really good taste when it comes to clothes and made me try on things that I would have never tried one, but that actually looked really good on me. When I clothes shop I tend to buy things because I need clothes, not taking the time to figure out what really looks good on me.
Overall it was a really good week.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Week One: Worth more than Rubies
As I stated, in February I am working on being a better wife. Just like in January the first week was a little rough and I got the chance to "work" on alot of things.
This week was more difficult because my darling husband had a few really long 12 hour days. So by the time he got home, I was tired out and the kids weren't at their best. I did catch myself snapping at him one night because he mentioned he was tired. In a very "un-Proverbs 31" way, I snapped, "I know, I am too".
The good thing is that I stopped there. I mentally gave myself a talking too. I expect him to listen to my complaints, and take how I am feeling seriously, he deserves that same respect. Him stating that he was tired, wasn't saying that I shouldn't be tired. But that is how I took it, I went to the defensive instead of the compassionate.
I have also had another chance to "practice". My husband approached me with the option of maybe buying a house....soon! We had talked about wanting to buy in about 2-3 years, but it looks like that it might be sooner. For those of you who don't know me, I am not a big fan of change, even if it is a good one! I like stability and consistency. I struggled this week to be excited with him, instead of freaking out! I want to encourage his dreaming, not stifle it.
The Bible study I am doing is talking alot about making conscious decisions about things. Because face it, everyday we make choices whether we realize it or not. I challenged myself, along with my friends to read Ephesians 6, and arm ourselves with the armor of God, hopefully making us more aware of the choices we make. Whether it is deciding how to spend my day or even little things, such as what to serve for dinner, I want my choices to add up to making myself "worth more than rubies".
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
This week was more difficult because my darling husband had a few really long 12 hour days. So by the time he got home, I was tired out and the kids weren't at their best. I did catch myself snapping at him one night because he mentioned he was tired. In a very "un-Proverbs 31" way, I snapped, "I know, I am too".
The good thing is that I stopped there. I mentally gave myself a talking too. I expect him to listen to my complaints, and take how I am feeling seriously, he deserves that same respect. Him stating that he was tired, wasn't saying that I shouldn't be tired. But that is how I took it, I went to the defensive instead of the compassionate.
I have also had another chance to "practice". My husband approached me with the option of maybe buying a house....soon! We had talked about wanting to buy in about 2-3 years, but it looks like that it might be sooner. For those of you who don't know me, I am not a big fan of change, even if it is a good one! I like stability and consistency. I struggled this week to be excited with him, instead of freaking out! I want to encourage his dreaming, not stifle it.
The Bible study I am doing is talking alot about making conscious decisions about things. Because face it, everyday we make choices whether we realize it or not. I challenged myself, along with my friends to read Ephesians 6, and arm ourselves with the armor of God, hopefully making us more aware of the choices we make. Whether it is deciding how to spend my day or even little things, such as what to serve for dinner, I want my choices to add up to making myself "worth more than rubies".
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Kinda Off Subject......
Yesterday was a very "interesting" day, and as I was "stressing" through it I kept trying to think about how I could relate it back to this blog, trying desperately to think of a lesson that I could learn going through it, (other than trying not to pull my hair out in frustration or go screaming into the streets).
Let me explain what happened. A week ago Saturday Andrew had to take Reagan to the ER for double ear infections and RSV. I was home recovering from gall bladder surgery. On the way home he rolled down the driver side window to show his ID at the gate and the window decided to fall off the track and get stuck inside the door.
Since then the van has taken up residence in our very crowded, very cluttered garage. Yesterday I decided that it was a nice enough day that I was going to run a few errands that I have needed to run with the kids. While Reagan was napping I went to move the van.
The van was in the garage so tight, then even though I tried my hardest I couldn't open the door wide enough to squeeze through, so I had to open the back of the van and crawl through. Once I got in the drivers seat I started the van and went to back out. I heard a "scratching" sound and realized that the back of the van was to tall to fit through the garage with the door open, so back to the back of the van I went, and shut the door. Then climbed back up to the front of the van and backed it out.
Since the van was in the driveway I decided this would be a good time to clean it out, so I took trash to the dumpster and brought random clutter to the garage. Then I came inside, mentally patting myself of the back for the aerobics I went through to get the van out and wondering how many calories I burnt!
Reagan was up from her nap, so I got her ready to go, and zipped up Cameron's jacket, in the middle of zipping it up it hit me, I didn't know where my keys were! I didn't panic, I figured I probably left them in the ignition, so I went out to the van, they weren't there.
"Ok", I thought, "they must be in the diaper bag". No, they weren't there, during this time Reagan was voicing her opinion about being strapped into her carseat and not going anywhere.
I ran and took a quick look in both the van and the garage, and still no keys. So I got a screaming Reagan out of her carseat and Cameron and I started looking for the keys.
On a side note, Reagan is cutting her 1 year old molars, and is not happy, so while we are looking she is following us screaming her head off.
After looking for about an hour, I decided that I needed a break and by this time both kids were ready for lunch, so I fed them, continuing to look around, thinking that they must be in plain sight and I am just not seeing them.....in my mind I was blaming the anesthesia I had almost two weeks ago.
The day continued, and still no keys! My mother in law came over and looked, she didn't find them, when Andrew got home, he looked, still no keys! By this time I was seeing a padded room in my future! (I was also praying that there would be no rain or snow since the van was in the driveway missing one window, I did talk myself out of trying to put it in neutral and push it back into the garage myself. I don't think that would have ended well.
Anyway, this morning after putting Reagan down for a nap I went back out into the garage. I had a gut feeling that the keys would be near the place I put the things I cleaned out from the van. So I started carefully looking in each box and bag...and low and behold...in the wrapping paper bag I found the keys! I can't even tell you the relief that flooded through my body, I actually got a little light headed! Cameron laughed at my happy dance!
I guess the biggest lesson I learned through all of this is that I still have alot to learn about trusting God and not letting the circumstances that surround me to frazzle me so much! That, and I will ALWAYS hook my keys to my pants or bag when I get out of the car!
These are the little things that caused me so much stress!!!!
Let me explain what happened. A week ago Saturday Andrew had to take Reagan to the ER for double ear infections and RSV. I was home recovering from gall bladder surgery. On the way home he rolled down the driver side window to show his ID at the gate and the window decided to fall off the track and get stuck inside the door.
Since then the van has taken up residence in our very crowded, very cluttered garage. Yesterday I decided that it was a nice enough day that I was going to run a few errands that I have needed to run with the kids. While Reagan was napping I went to move the van.
The van was in the garage so tight, then even though I tried my hardest I couldn't open the door wide enough to squeeze through, so I had to open the back of the van and crawl through. Once I got in the drivers seat I started the van and went to back out. I heard a "scratching" sound and realized that the back of the van was to tall to fit through the garage with the door open, so back to the back of the van I went, and shut the door. Then climbed back up to the front of the van and backed it out.
Since the van was in the driveway I decided this would be a good time to clean it out, so I took trash to the dumpster and brought random clutter to the garage. Then I came inside, mentally patting myself of the back for the aerobics I went through to get the van out and wondering how many calories I burnt!
Reagan was up from her nap, so I got her ready to go, and zipped up Cameron's jacket, in the middle of zipping it up it hit me, I didn't know where my keys were! I didn't panic, I figured I probably left them in the ignition, so I went out to the van, they weren't there.
"Ok", I thought, "they must be in the diaper bag". No, they weren't there, during this time Reagan was voicing her opinion about being strapped into her carseat and not going anywhere.
I ran and took a quick look in both the van and the garage, and still no keys. So I got a screaming Reagan out of her carseat and Cameron and I started looking for the keys.
On a side note, Reagan is cutting her 1 year old molars, and is not happy, so while we are looking she is following us screaming her head off.
After looking for about an hour, I decided that I needed a break and by this time both kids were ready for lunch, so I fed them, continuing to look around, thinking that they must be in plain sight and I am just not seeing them.....in my mind I was blaming the anesthesia I had almost two weeks ago.
The day continued, and still no keys! My mother in law came over and looked, she didn't find them, when Andrew got home, he looked, still no keys! By this time I was seeing a padded room in my future! (I was also praying that there would be no rain or snow since the van was in the driveway missing one window, I did talk myself out of trying to put it in neutral and push it back into the garage myself. I don't think that would have ended well.
Anyway, this morning after putting Reagan down for a nap I went back out into the garage. I had a gut feeling that the keys would be near the place I put the things I cleaned out from the van. So I started carefully looking in each box and bag...and low and behold...in the wrapping paper bag I found the keys! I can't even tell you the relief that flooded through my body, I actually got a little light headed! Cameron laughed at my happy dance!
I guess the biggest lesson I learned through all of this is that I still have alot to learn about trusting God and not letting the circumstances that surround me to frazzle me so much! That, and I will ALWAYS hook my keys to my pants or bag when I get out of the car!
These are the little things that caused me so much stress!!!!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Patting myself on the back....
With a revolving sickness going through our house on top of my surgery that happened a week earlier than I expected housework has kinda fallen to the wayside.
Normally I would run around frantically and try to get everything done in one day and end up overdoing it and getting really tired, frustrated and crabby....not a good combination when you are a mom.
So today I fought my instincts and brought out my cleaning schedule, and just did what Monday called for....dusting the dining room, cleaning the front door and mopping the entrance way. I also did my deep cleaning for today, cleaning the vents and picture frames in the living room. Other than finishing up the laundry...another Monday chore, and general upkeep that you do during the day when you have two children my housework is done.
My schedule is designed so that by Friday the house it clean, and that is really good enough for me since we are having family over for Reagan's birthday. I don't have to have everything done in one day...I am not Super Mom, I would look silly in the cape! (and yes, I do have to repeat that to myself multiple times during the day!
Doing things this way ment that I had both time and energy to sit on the floor and play Little People with my little people. And I discovered something, I would rather have a few spots on my floor then loose out on this time with my little ones.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Happy February!
I know I am a couple of days late with this post. I had a bit of a longer recovery from my gall bladder surgery than I expected.
Looking over the month of January, I am kinda pleased with myself. I was pretty consistent in working out and the other physical changes I wanted to make. I am actually looking forward to getting back to working out, which shows that some changes have been made.
Now onto February.
This month I want to focus on my marriage. My wonderful husband and I do have a really strong marriage, but things can always get stronger. This month I am focusing, not on changing him, but changing the way I respond to him and my general attitude overall.
I have a very bad habit of trying to "keep score". I my mind I tend to keep a running tally of, "well, I got up with the kids this morning, so there for my husband owes me a morning of sleeping in", or, " I took out the garbage today, so therefore he should do the dishes". One of the problems with this is that I don't share my expectations with him, and then I get irritated when he doesn't "read my mind." Not a good cycle to have, and doesn't help either of us.
This is the big change in my attitude I want to change. To help with the change I am going to wear a rubberband around my wrist and snapping each time I find myself "going to the scoreboard."
I am also starting a Bible study with a group of friends. It is based on the book, "Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be" by Donna Partow. It is based on Proverbs 31. It looks like it will be a wonderful, practical study, which is what I need.
In my mind I see the kind of wife I want to be, and yes, you can laugh, because the woman I see is wearing pearls while vacuuming! But with all seriousness, I want to be the best helpmate for my husband that I can. The challenge is going to be striking a balance between the perfect "June Cleaver" image in my head, and what I can actually do, since I am not a TV character, but a real life wife, who has her bad days along with the good.
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner
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