August was going to be my month to work of our finances. I had it all planned out, but then God stepped in.
God showed me that I needed to work on forgiveness this month. Through personal circumstances, followed by a very compelling sermon made me realize that forgiveness is the key to living a fulfilled life. Unforgiveness keeps you chained down in the past.
I want to share my notes from the sermon, because it really spoke to me. The pastor had three points, forgiving yourself, forging others and forgiving God.
The first two are not new concepts. The one that really spoke to me was the idea of forgiving God. We have to remember that God is not intimidated by our emotions, my thoughts or my feelings. And the idea of forgiving God doesn't mean that God was wrong. Forgiving frees you of being bitter. And I honestly believe that bitterness is one of Satan's biggest tools to distract us from being focused on accomplishing His will.
Sometimes things happen in our life that we don't understand. But God understands that. He created us, so He knows our limitations, He knows that we don't see the big picture. And for us to be honest with Him, to share our feelings will bring us to a deeper relationship with Him.
The other hard thing for me to do is forgive myself. I know that I hold myself to a high standard, too high. Not forgiving yourself is a form of conceit. It is basically saying, "Yes God, Your Son's sacrifice was good enough payment for my sins for you,but not for me." That sounds harsh,but really that is what it is. We all need to "get over" ourselves. Not being able to forgive ourselves is also a tool for Satan. It traps us in the past, and we can't live fully in the present.
When it comes to forgiving others it is easier for me to do that when that person asks for forgiveness. Not forgiving others is almost a sick form of power. You feel like you own that person, when in actuality they most likely don't know you are harboring unforgiveness. Again, it only holds you down.
So this month is another big challenge for me. I am looking forward to God working with me on all aspects of forgiveness, but I know it will be a battle.
